Hard is Good

One humid Sunday in October, I was out on my last 20 mile long run in preparation for my race of a lifetime, the 2017 New York City Marathon.  Suddenly I had to pull over for tightness in  my right glute when I was at mile 17. Up until this point, the run had been picture perfect. I had even met  three of my best runner girl friends along the route and we chit chatted about everything under the sun. I figured I just had a cramp, so I attempted to stretch it out, and then hobbled the last 3 miles home.

The next few days were incredibly painful, it hurt to walk, sleep, and even bend over. I consulted with friends and a physical therapist and we assumed it was a glute strain.  The the next week it was diagnosed it as an SI joint dysfunction, so I went to PT a few times, and things started to feel better. Upon a suggestion from a teammate, I went to an orthopedic doctor to rule out any type of skeletal injury, and to confirm what we were thinking; I wanted confirmation that I wouldn’t hurt myself more by running the marathon. After X-Rays, an MRI, and even sneaking in a run I was told not to do, he confirmed my worst fears; I have a stress fracture of my sacrum. The doctor ordered a strict month of no running, little walking or standing, and no exercise. I kept calm until I left the office and then the tears flooded my eyes and lasted well throughout the day. The most important and largest race of my life, which I was 100% prepared and excited for, was now completely out the window! Living in NYC has made it worse; everywhere I look throughout the city, there are reminders of the race.  Subway posters,  signs on light posts , and even commercials on TV are haunting me. I understand that there is always next year, but after enduring a  tough summer of sweltering long runs, on top of working long hours, I wanted this to be my last full marathon until I got settled down.

So what now? My immediate reaction was obviously sadness and fear. Sadness because I will not be running the marathon, and I will also miss my Monday group, and long runs with friends. I will not be able to  get to run my favorite trails outside of the city as the autumn leaves fall.  There will be no Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving, no Midnight Run on New Years Eve, and no morning runs to clear my head. I fear of losing all the fitness I have worked so hard for all year, getting completely out of shape, and let’s be honest, gaining weight! 

 

After stopping and reflecting, I am thankful that this is a temporary situation. Things could always be worse, and I will run again soon. I can use this time off of running to build myself in non-physical ways such as getting to read all those books that are collecting dust on my shelf, learning to play the guitar, and going to museums I would normally not have time for.

So yeah, this has been really hard on me. Very hard emotionally, as I feel everything like a hurricane. Hard because running is a huge part of me, even though there were numerous mornings I groaned getting out of bed at 5am to run.  It is a time when I make important life decisions, watch the sunrise, heck even meditate and pray. It is hard physically getting around now also, but hard is good. Hard teaches you to appreciate the things you take for granted, such as the three  half-marathons I accomplished this year .  I even unexpectedly set a new PR in one of them!  I ran through pouring rain at the Staten Island Half and have made many new wonderful friends thanks to my running team.  I will lose out on the many social aspects of running, like regular group runs, or catching up with friends on a run, when that's the only time we have to talk.

 Again, this is going to be hard. Standing on the sidelines of the NYC Marathon this Sunday and cheering is going to hurt in many ways. Yet, I believe every hurdle in our life has a purpose, to teach us something deeper about ourselves. With that being said, I am going to (try to) fully embrace this period of growth in my life, but also count down the days until I can run again. Here's to strength training, lots of planks, and deep water running soon! 

PS: If anyone has any insight into sacral fractures and upper body/body weight exercise that will not slow down the healing of my sacrum please reach out! 

When Your Race Doesn't Go As Planned

You get upset, and you move on. As a “new runner,” although I have run a bunch of 5ks, 5 half marathons, a full marathon, and regularly run; I would describe myself as a new runner. I have never ran for time, more so to complete the distance and for the mental clarity it brings me. after running regularly for about three years now, I decided to up my game and set new goals for myself and to improve my speed and stamina. One of those goals was to run my 10k race in under 54 minutes, just under an average pace of 9 minutes per mile. No, this isn’t generally fast but for me it was. I trained (maybe not enough speed work), and I was fairly confident I could accomplish it. this goal fed into my next goal, running a sub two hour half marathon on October 8^th.

Waking up for the race at 5am I could already feel my body yelling at me after spending too much time on my feet the previous two days, and taking a very intense yoga class the morning before. I got up, dressed, had coffee and my pre-race rice cake with peanut butter and banana, and headed out the door. I was immediately smacked in the face by the heat and humidity that had been absent for the last few days, not a runners friend. After a train ride, running a mile from my train stop to the start (with a bathroom stop at the McDonald’s Times Square) I had made it to the start. The race was set up to start and end at Pier 84 on the Hudson River. After checking my unnecessary jacket, I headed to the corral to take part in the warm up and we were off at 7am! My body was yelling at me. My leg’s felt like lead and my stomach was a sloshy mess. The first three miles I made in sub 9 minute pace like I was hoping, but then I realized it just wasn’t my day so I pulled back and tried to just enjoy it. My body just did not want to run, so I did my best and crossed the finish in about 57:30, and I moved on.

I headed to the celebration area, got my adorable free t-shirt, some snacks, a bag, and a blender bottle. Exhaustion hit me, and I headed home. Now, this was not at all the race I hoped for. No, I probably was not fully trained to reach my goal time (something I really need to work on- speed training), and I cant help that my body was just not having it. As runners, we have to realize that not everyday is a great day, and we cant perform 100% every day. These races are given to us to appreciate the times that running feels like skipping through a cloud, and be thankful for the amazing feat that we have the gift and ability to run. Maybe I am not a runner; maybe I am meant to be a yogi. However, running makes me very happy. So I will continue to do it for the mental clarity and “runner’s high” rather than specific goals. And when I do not make my goals, I will not be disappointed but blessed that I could even try.

Keep running friends. 

So it's been a minute...

Life has been nothing less but hectic, and absolutely wonderful for the past few months which resulted in a lack of posting. Between running my first Marathon in January, to some mini vacations, job hunting, moving to New York City, starting a new job, writing has been the last thing on my agenda unfortunately. However, I promise to post weekly about my exciting new adventures, struggles, and of course running which is picking back up quite wonderfully.

So... I did a thing and ran a Marathon in January. I ran the Town of Celebration Marathon and met my time goal and had a truly fantastic time with it. I struggled, triumphed, learned how strong I am physically and mentally, and crossed the finish line with tears on my face and barely able to breathe because of how proud I was of myself. Here are a couple pictures my sweet father took after he cheered me on:

Moving to New York City has been a dream of mine since I was 19 years old. Although I have a mountain spirit, I decided for my career and current state of 24-ness that I would pick up and move to the big apple. I have been here now for going on 4 months, and when they say "the city that never sleeps" they really mean it. New Yorkers function in a constant state of being tired. I love the non-stop action, opportunities at my finger tips, and how quickly I am excelling and moving forward in my career. No where else in the world does your career boom as quickly as it does here, with lots of moving parts, quick negotiations, and people willing to give you chances.

Mom's visit in July

I love how active the city and its people are, being forced and loving walking everywhere in such a pedestrian friendly city. You can literally walk the entire city, and I regularly strap on a backpack and can even run home from work! (I will do a backpack and NYC necessary gear review soon!) There are also copious amounts of running clubs and races regularly going on around the city. I have joined the Nike Running Club for many runs and will soon run with the Brooklyn Trail Runners to experience some of the more scenic trails around the city. I am very excited with how easily accessible it is to reach the trails around the area, even including the Appalachian Trail.

Running here is hands down the best way to explore, to de-stress, to remember who I am, my goals and ambitions, and to not allow myself to get caught up in doing things that are not uniquely me. When I run I feel in the purest form of myself, I have the thoughts that get jumbled up in regular day to day activities. I am kinder, more patient, understanding, and loving. Running will do this to you, if only the whole world ran.

 NYRR Women's Mini 10k (not sure why "mini")

 Nike Pride Run

Running the Queensboro bridge to Manhattan

I Admit, I Have Fallen in Love...

With trail running. There, I said it, everyone knows. Trail running is like running roads on steroids.

The soft, luscious Earth squishing beneath your feet and making way for many types of landscapes; sand, grass, leaves, ponds. Deer bounding across your path and tortoises smiling beneath their shells. Chirps of birds and crickets ringing like music to your ears along with the swoosh of the trees giving way to a gentle breeze. Time does not happen here. Earth rotates a little more slowly.

Thanks to a friends suggestion, I recently took my day off to explore Lake Louisa State Park towards Clermont in Central Florida. It costs $4 to enter, and boasts 7 miles of paved roads, 20+ miles of trails, primitive and tent/camper camping, lakes to swim in, wildlife, it's fantastic. Coming 2 days post half marathon I set out for a quick easy run but by the time I was done I was shocked that I had run 8 miles. I have never gotten lost in the absolute joy of running. Road running is hard to "get lost" in. You have mile markers in your mind of where you are, traffic to watch out for, other pedestrians and pollution. Yet on a trail all that encompasses your mind is the sounds of nature, sights, and your own thoughts. It is much more primal running on a trail like our ancestors did, whom did not stop to cross streets or run according to per mile pacing. They ran out of need, and out of desire.

To me, trail running is like a slice of birthday cake at a party. The feelings of the change of ground from grass to sand, the soft roll of the Earth, the trees whispering sweet nothings, deer perking up to say hello, and a game of hop scotch hopping over tree roots is nothing short of fantastic.

Since that first date with the forest here, I have returned twice for a 12 & 15 mile run I did mostly on the paved trails to more closely mimic the roads for my marathon. But I did sneak off into the trails for a few glorious miles.

Trails however require a different shoe for your best run. I ordered a pair of Brooks Cascadias which are more minimal that my overly cushioned Saucony Triumphs to allow my feet to better grip the trails, and I can't wait to strap those babies on for a test run!

A part of me I never before knew with running is out and so happy. Trails please my soul; being alone, in nature, doing my primal thing just soothes me to an extent I cannot describe. I know my soul is happy in a cooler more wilderness climate and I hope my future soon takes me to that happy little place.

Keep running friends, hit the trails!

St. Augustine Half Marathon

Following my Marathon training plan, this past week called for a 13 mile run, and I decided I wanted to race it and found the St. Augustine Half Marathon to perfectly fit into my plan! 

My dad (aka biggest running supporter) drove up to Orlando and picked me up Saturday morning for the trip. We got to St. Augustine at lunch time and headed to our favorite little cafe for lunch. The Manatee, recommended for all! Healthy, delicious, and lots of vegan options. We got the hummus and tabbouleh appetizer, a veggie burger and vegan Reuben to split. Carb loading at its best, plus I'm always starving.

The Reuben above, veggie burger below! Dad got a side of quinoa veggie soup and I opted for fruit.

Afterwards, we checked into our hotel, and walked to the expo to pick up my packet for the race the next morning. We walked down the historic area to St. George street amongst the many little shops and got a pumpkin pie Popsicle from my favorite Popsicle place!

Then, we strolled to the fort and made our way back to the hotel where we tested a bit before heading to sushi to carb load for the morning. I got a cucumber roll and an avocado roll, very tasty. 

Before I knew it, I was waking up for race morning! I got dressed, ate my banana and cold brew coffee, and drove to the race. We over compensated how long and busy it would be and were there pretty early. It was a small race of only 1,200 runners which is my favorite kind of race. I ate my honey stinger waffle right before the start and we were off at 7am after a moment of silence for Paris. 

The run began at the Fort and traveled over the famous Bridge of Lions to Anastasia Island. I was feeling amazing, so thankful for my safety, my many blessings, my father who is so supportive in every single thing I do, my body for being strong and allowing me to run, and living in a country that I can freely run in! The race turned over a huge bridge, .25 up, and then an immediate turn around and back over the bridge. Not fun. Then the race continued through the National Park of beachfront Anastasia Island, breathtaking sand dunes and streets covered in mossy trees. My knee began to flare up and send shooting pain at mile 9 but I dug deep and pushed through set on setting a PR.

The last 4 miles flew by, I started out running way too fast almost a minute faster per mile than I wanted, and eventually slowed down towards the end. One more time over the Bridge of Lions, past the fort and finished with a PR of 2:06:27!!! A 7 minute PR for myself, which I am so proud of. After my horrible long run the week prior I really didn't know that was possible. But when you believe in yourself, anything can happen! And I am hungry for that Marathon in January.

A post run breakfast of tofu scramble at The Manatee Cafe, and we were headed home. Shout out to No Meat Athlete for the perfect new race shirt!! You can find it here: store.nomeatathlete.com

Peace and running friends :)

When You Can't "Just Keep Swimming"

Some days, you just can't. No, I am not trying to sound like an 18 year old valley girl that "literally just can't", but today I knew I had to quit. I have been trying to obsessively follow a marathon training plan for my half marathon on November 15, and my first full marathon on January 31. I have a schedule for my runs and workouts following the plan basically to a T, and today called for 12 miles. I do all of my long runs typically on Tuesdays, sometimes Wednesdays pending on my work schedule. So yesterday, I turned down invitations from friends to hangout after my 11 hour shift, came home to eat my dinner of brown rice, veggies, and tempeh, and hit the sack by 9:30pm.

My alarm sounded at 6:30am; trying to beat the heat of the eternal summer that is Florida (it is November 3...) yet my body just said no. It told me I was too tired, I needed to rest, yet I forced myself up, ate a banana and got dressed and headed out. By mile 4 I was already exhausted. It was nearing 85 degrees and only 7:30am. I just couldn't get in "the zone," and decided to cut down to 11 miles. By mile 5 I decided I couldn't go any farther and turned around to just do 10. It was hot, I was running out of water from my Camelbak, my IT band began to flare up and I resorted to run walking.

Mentally, I was over it. I wasn't having any fun, I was tired, thirsty, hot, and began to worry and doubt myself about being able to run 26.2 miles come January. If I couldn't even make it 12, how would I ever be able to run that far? Would I even be able to push myself to train longer distances? I had given up. I called my dad at 7.5 crying. He has completed many marathons, and always has the best advice. He told me that sometimes, our bodies need a break, to go home, eat, rest and get back on track when I felt better. My typical work week is about 6 days a week and over 50 hours, where I stand, squat, and remain pretty active and it all takes a tole on me that I really don't factor in. I am leaner and in better shape than I maybe have ever been, so why did my body quit on me? Because it needs rest, it just needs a break from activity.

So here I was, crying because of my obsessive compulsion to accomplish every single goal I set for myself and here I was failing myself. I have NEVER not completed a long run that I planned out, yet here I was walking the 2.5 miles left to get home. I was defeated, done, even walking bothered my IT band. Out of water, thirsty, and sweating bullets. I stopped at my neighborhood McDonalds to get water, and got quite a few confusing looks from the regular carnivores. Charlie greeted me with a friendly meow when I got home, showered, and had my usual post run waffles and fruit as a reward for my labor.

Now it is time to re-evaluate. I am a super obsessive person, always have been. It has led me to eating disorders, exercise disorders, and generally to be anxious about anything in my future. After this not so great run, I learned that I need to just take every run as they come. If I am injured, rest (very hard for me, I usually will run anyways.) Stop obsessing about races, if come January I cannot do the full marathon, I will drop down to the half. Maybe my body just can't handle it, and I will need to learn to be okay with that. I can't keep isolating myself from my social life because it "doesn't fit into my running plan."

Now, I will commit to making living a priority, rather than working constantly to attain my goals. Instead of working 6 days a week to pay my bills and have extra spending money, I am going to take my extra days to go out into nature and do the things I want to do, say YES more often to invitations from friends, and maybe even in December to drive my happy self to the mountains and stay in a hostel to explore. It's time to live, be present in everything I do, and to learn to work running races into my life rather than into my schedule and letting them consume me. Time to live.

Peace and running friends!

The Perception of Masculinity

Today, our world is over run with social media, advertisements, news ads, and most of them are depicting either a masculine or feminine role. From birth announcements being pink or blue as "female" and "male", children's color clothing, everything we see in everyday life has a male or female stigma attached to it.

I whole heartily believe that we have brainwashed our gender norms in society the entirely wrong way; men to be strong and women to be frail. Both genders should feel comfortable to be themselves, and to express their feelings openly. Men should not be taught to hide their emotions; our society teaches men to hide their sorrow and act out in rage. Men's boxing and AMA fighting has become uber popular, in my eyes I see this as a very caveman type sport where men fight each other for nothing other than sport even injuring each other and riling up rage out of the crowds. Video games are targeted at men and are full of murder, violence, theft; while women's are typically kinder like Barbie and baby dolls. A case can also be made for whom TV shows and movies are directed at; Superheros using their strength as power, while Princess movies for girls display kindness as power. In school boys are taught to be kind to women (mostly) and that they are frail, yet as themselves they must always be perfectly composed and unemotional. 

Men: be emotional! Be vulnerable. As humans we are highly emotional beings and as both men and women we feel many different emotions everyday. Women tend to succumb and express their feelings much more openly, as I believe men should too. Biologically we are wired in our DNA to feel many things, some more than others based on the amount of stress we felt as unborn babies from our mothers and then based on the stresses of our environment through adolescence and through adulthood.

It has even come across in the dietary and food world; an example being the "Hungry Man" meals that are directed to men, full of heavy meats and implying that men need to eat copious amounts of meats. Many advertisements for meat and beer products are directed to men, while women are seen eating small salads and the stars of diet food advertisements. This has caused society to think that men need to be "strong" and consume huge amounts of meat products, while women are portrayed as "weak" and eating very little. On the contrary, men are seen as weak for abstaining from animal products which is more than far from the truth.

Compassion is an important and attractive quality that men should express. Being vegan and caring about animals and our planet is not something to be ashamed about but something to be embraced. I personally find vegan men extremely attractive, I see them as people that can embrace and express their feelings very openly and to be more nurturing than those who consume animal products. Masculinity is about being strong, protective, and can be expressed even better as being protectors of all living things and the Earth we call home. It should not be expressed through mounted deer heads, killing black bears, literally "bringing home the bacon" but being caring and nurturing to these animals instead. Men believe they need to eat more protein than women in general and that this nutrient needs to be consumed in the form of animal products, which is incorrect and I will explain further in a later post on protein.

So hey men, it's okay to show your soft side, in fact flaunt it! If slaughter of animals upsets you embrace this. Go vegan, advocate for animal and environmental rights. Let us respect our fellow animals that Mother Earth has given us, and love us love them and live as one. So go forth and live a life of peace, emotion and compassion.