One humid Sunday in October, I was out on my last 20 mile long run in preparation for my race of a lifetime, the 2017 New York City Marathon. Suddenly I had to pull over for tightness in my right glute when I was at mile 17. Up until this point, the run had been picture perfect. I had even met three of my best runner girl friends along the route and we chit chatted about everything under the sun. I figured I just had a cramp, so I attempted to stretch it out, and then hobbled the last 3 miles home.
The next few days were incredibly painful, it hurt to walk, sleep, and even bend over. I consulted with friends and a physical therapist and we assumed it was a glute strain. The the next week it was diagnosed it as an SI joint dysfunction, so I went to PT a few times, and things started to feel better. Upon a suggestion from a teammate, I went to an orthopedic doctor to rule out any type of skeletal injury, and to confirm what we were thinking; I wanted confirmation that I wouldn’t hurt myself more by running the marathon. After X-Rays, an MRI, and even sneaking in a run I was told not to do, he confirmed my worst fears; I have a stress fracture of my sacrum. The doctor ordered a strict month of no running, little walking or standing, and no exercise. I kept calm until I left the office and then the tears flooded my eyes and lasted well throughout the day. The most important and largest race of my life, which I was 100% prepared and excited for, was now completely out the window! Living in NYC has made it worse; everywhere I look throughout the city, there are reminders of the race. Subway posters, signs on light posts , and even commercials on TV are haunting me. I understand that there is always next year, but after enduring a tough summer of sweltering long runs, on top of working long hours, I wanted this to be my last full marathon until I got settled down.
So what now? My immediate reaction was obviously sadness and fear. Sadness because I will not be running the marathon, and I will also miss my Monday group, and long runs with friends. I will not be able to get to run my favorite trails outside of the city as the autumn leaves fall. There will be no Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving, no Midnight Run on New Years Eve, and no morning runs to clear my head. I fear of losing all the fitness I have worked so hard for all year, getting completely out of shape, and let’s be honest, gaining weight!
After stopping and reflecting, I am thankful that this is a temporary situation. Things could always be worse, and I will run again soon. I can use this time off of running to build myself in non-physical ways such as getting to read all those books that are collecting dust on my shelf, learning to play the guitar, and going to museums I would normally not have time for.
So yeah, this has been really hard on me. Very hard emotionally, as I feel everything like a hurricane. Hard because running is a huge part of me, even though there were numerous mornings I groaned getting out of bed at 5am to run. It is a time when I make important life decisions, watch the sunrise, heck even meditate and pray. It is hard physically getting around now also, but hard is good. Hard teaches you to appreciate the things you take for granted, such as the three half-marathons I accomplished this year . I even unexpectedly set a new PR in one of them! I ran through pouring rain at the Staten Island Half and have made many new wonderful friends thanks to my running team. I will lose out on the many social aspects of running, like regular group runs, or catching up with friends on a run, when that's the only time we have to talk.
Again, this is going to be hard. Standing on the sidelines of the NYC Marathon this Sunday and cheering is going to hurt in many ways. Yet, I believe every hurdle in our life has a purpose, to teach us something deeper about ourselves. With that being said, I am going to (try to) fully embrace this period of growth in my life, but also count down the days until I can run again. Here's to strength training, lots of planks, and deep water running soon!
PS: If anyone has any insight into sacral fractures and upper body/body weight exercise that will not slow down the healing of my sacrum please reach out!
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