Trust the Timing of Life

After 3+ months of no running due to an injury, little activity with lots of Netflix, I finally dipped my toes back into running on a very cold January day with a two mile jog to my favorite park in Astoria. I stopped in the Socrates Sculpture Park to admire the winter-y scenery along the East River. At that moment, after months of missing out on early runs, jogs past the Christmas windows on 5th Ave, and most importantly sitting out the NYC Marathon, I was at peace with everything that happened. I've always heard, "everything happens for a reason," and I believe that if you slow down long enough to understand it all, it's definitely true.

Sometimes you just lose the spark. I admit my training last summer and fall for the NYC Marathon was anything but fun. Slogging through the heat on long runs, waking up early after working exhausting weddings, and giving up on social time just was no longer fun for me. I was wholly committed to running the marathon, but not as excited to do the work as I wanted to be. As a person who is driven by passion, it was hard for me to force myself to do the long runs that were a necessary part of training. Ironically, during the last 20 mile run of my training, which also happened to be one of the most fun and best times of my training cycle, I suffered a stress fracture. It was almost like the universe was telling me "wait, not yet." I deferred the marathon and struggled through several physically and mentally painful weeks leading up to the day I wouldn't be toeing the line in Staten Island.

However, the universe is always right in its timing. My parents flew in for marathon weekend and we had the time of our lives eating, drinking, seeing a Broadway show and ultimately cheering at the marathon. Originally, I had wanted to be as far away from the marathon course as possible on the big day, but my family urged me to attend and cheer on my friends and teammates. We went and saw the finish line the day before the race, and they hugged me as I cried for a few moments when the realization hit me that this wasn't my year to cross it. 

On Marathon morning we staked out a spot in Brooklyn and cheered on the elites and the throngs of runners. It really hit me when my training buddy Evi passed and I cried a few tears. The day couldn't have gone better as everyone had the race of their lives and I got to be with my teammates cheering on everyone's races. That day sparked my love of running once again.

Cheering in Brooklyn

When you really love something and can't do it, it hurts, but I think it also refills your tank. My running tank was pretty close to empty. Taking three months off to see friends I hadn't been able to make time for, actively pursuing my yoga practice, and traveling to Costa Rica on a retreat, all added fuel to my tank. Missing out on group runs, cheering friends in the Philadelphia Marathon, and having a ton of quality time on my couch truly allowed me the time to embrace my pain and understand how much I loved the sport. I had been moaning and groaning on early mornings, slogging through long runs, and counting down every mile until the runs were over. Ultimately, my injury was necessary for my running. I wouldn't have loved every moment of the NYC Marathon and maybe have even decided to continue running if I hadn't had the time to reflect while recovering from my injury.

Whippets Cheer Station in the Bronx

Therefore, I now embrace my running, and even more so the health of my running than ever before. I have learned I need to mentally be into it to enjoy it. I need to take care of my body and follow the plan that is best for me, even if others may be able to run more miles or faster than me. The longevity of running is truly based on the way you treat yourself and I want to treat myself well.

For now I have lots to look forward to and many more miles to run!

I Run for Me

After crossing the sacred finish line, the first question most people (runners and non- runners alike) will ask is “What was your time?” Granted, the sport of running and racing is based on trying to run the distance as fast as possible. Many set goals for themselves to run a sub 4 hour marathon, to Boston Qualify, etc. However, running to me may sound strange to many of my racing friends and the running community that is constantly trying to get faster. I run for the pure sake of enjoyment and the fulfillment it brings me.

Personally, I don’t like to feel uncomfortable or like I am straining myself when I run, so I tend to run pretty slow. I am a proud middle to back of packer. Running is my alone time to simmer in my own thoughts and wrestle important decisions with myself as there is nothing else to do but put one foot in front of the other and be in your head. I began running in college as a way to cope with stress, bad relationships, and as I could no longer Figure Skate as I did growing up. I would run a 3 mile loop around the UCF campus and try to convince my friends to do it with me in the sauna like Florida heat. Gradually, I ran my first half marathon (at Disney World of course) and although I enjoyed it I told myself at the finish I would never run a full. Fast forward 3 years later I was crossing the finish line of my first full overcome with so much euphoria and the realization that “I can do it,” that I couldn’t even breathe or see the last few steps. Immediately on my runners high that evening, I put my name in for the lottery of the NYC Marathon hopeful that maybe I would be there one day. Although I did not get in that year, I am thrilled to say that this November I will be running the five boroughs (and as a NYC resident!)

Running at a slow, comfortable pace is what brings me joy in running. Rather than focusing on my discomfort I can think about my blessings, my life ahead of me, take in my surroundings in nature, and pray. Morning runs work best for my body; straight out of bed and hitting the pavement. My head is clear, the day is new and quiet before the hustle and bustle of the big city. It starts my day on a positive and refreshing note where I can take time for my gratitude practice and say some prayers before a busy and successful day.

In January of 2016 I ran my first marathon. My marathon debut was probably the best day of my life, I ran my own race, took my time, made friends with my pacer, and finished knowing that I wanted to do it over and over again. Every time I start to compare myself to those that are faster than me, I bring myself back to that moment and remember the satisfaction I had with myself and that no matter how slow I did it, I was part of the 1% of the population that has run 26.2 miles.

Here I am now, training through the sticky heat of the summer for the New York City Marathon on November 5^th; unquestionably the largest and most exciting road marathon in the world. My goal is to finish with a smile on my face and take my time enjoying the sights, sounds, and high fiving the spectators along the way. So if you ask me my time, don’t be disappointed with I just tell you with a grin that I did it. 

More Than Ever, The World Needs Yoga

At this time in our history when it seems that the world is in turmoil, I believe it is imperative that we focus on the positive and peace inside ourselves. My yoga practice has taught me to always see the best in things.

Yoga is not just a class you go to now and then, or a form of exercise. To me, yoga is a deeply personal and spiritual practice that teaches us peace, meditation, and gratitude. I used to feel a lot of pressure from the weight of the world, and other people’s problems I could not solve and it would cause me a lot of personal unhappiness and stress in my daily life. I had done yoga off and on at my University’s group classes and at studios in Orlando, but it never really clicked for me as more than a workout class. However, a change in mindset and finding the most incredible studio in my neighborhood, Yoga Agora, honestly changed me as a person.

That may seem like a huge exaggeration to say that yoga has changed my life, but it completely has. Yoga is an ancient practice that began in Indian and has roots in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. It originated around the time of the Buddha and from his teachings, and was first a mental practice before it had transformed into a well known and popular form of exercise all over the world. It is a deeply personal practice equally about giving your best physically to the practice, but also mentally. Yoga is a practice meant to prepare your body and mind for meditation, or shavasana (an Asana pose where you lie on the floor and openly breathe in meditation.)  

Yoga has brought me immense peace with myself and in dealing with the external factors of life; work stress, my relationships, being comfortable with who I am, and even the political climate of the world. I learned from the confines of the four corners of my mat, that I am only in control of my own thoughts and my own life, and to simply deal with what is dealt at me to the best of my ability. To be easier on myself; like at the end of a Vinyasa flow you lay down and meditate on what you have done and have peace that is was all you can do. So rather than nit pick at what I could/should have done and replay situations over and over in my mind until I make myself sick, I choose to live presently and realize what is done is done, and to only focus on what I presently have control over. 

The world desperately needs yoga. The world needs peace, the prominent theme of yoga, and to stop lashing out in negativity and violence as a first reaction. My favorite mantra chanted in practice is this, 

"Om śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ," translated meaning 

May there be well-being for all,

May there be peace for all.

May there be wholeness for all,

May there be happiness for all.

This is the dream, isn't it? What peace is about? How can we really create "World Peace" when our first reaction to political news is to spread our own negative feelings? A pillar of Buddhism tells us that we are in control of removing suffering from the world. I believe by removing negativity that this is the first step. Let's keep our negative thoughts to ourselves and instead provide positive alternate options to what we don't agree with. This will also give our loved ones, friends, even world leaders the reinforcement to make the right choices out of compassion.

This following chant is very important to our world at this time:

"Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu"

May the rulers of the earth protect the well-being of the people,

With justice, by means of the right path.

May there always be good fortune for all living beings.

May all the inhabitants of the world be full of happiness.

If only the world could feel the peace and ease of mind one receives at the end of a blissful yoga session. Peace in the body, peace in the mind, and peace in the heart.

Hate takes energy. Love just is.

5 Things I Have Learned & Hope to Grow into in my 25th Year

January 25th I woke up the ripe old age of 25, which also happens to be my Golden Year! 24 taught me more than most years in the relationships I had, moving to NYC, and with my career. I have grown into myself a lot over the past few years and wanted to share a few things I have learned, and am working towards implementing more into my life.

1.     Success is measured by your happiness. I am happy when I am doing what I love; my new job planning weddings at my dream venue, running, doing yoga, being with those I love, and in nature.

2.     Be true to yourself. Always do what feeds your soul and not to satisfy others. It is really important to me to always be authentically myself, and to embrace all my quirks.

3.     Don’t give all of yourself. I am a giver; I give and give and am always there for my friends no matter what they need. However, that has not always been reciprocated. After much hurt, I have learned that I cannot always care for others more than myself, especially when they do not return the favor. Keep your good friends close, and always keep a special place in your heart and your day for yourself.

4.      Find an outlet. Life can be hard sometimes. I find that having an outlet to de-stress and refocus on something you care about really helps me. Running and yoga are that for me. The physical burn and the clarity I get through meditation in both are not paralleled by anything else to me, and I am obsessed with both!   

5.     Your body is your vessel, take care of it. You were given this one, precious, human body to carry you through life. Life is the most incredible gift we can have and I believe in wellness and longevity for that life. So I choose to eat real, nutritious, healthy food and move my body in ways that feel good to me (even what that means running a marathon.)

All in all, I learned after years of working to please others, or to “fit in”, that the most important thing we can have in this life is satisfaction with ourselves. I find that I am happiest when I am doing exactly what feeds my soul: spending a quiet night at home with Charlie and a book, going on a long run with friends, yoga and meditation, a hot bath, trying new restaurants, discovering new places, and a hearty glass of red wine. 

I Admit, I Have Fallen in Love...

With trail running. There, I said it, everyone knows. Trail running is like running roads on steroids.

The soft, luscious Earth squishing beneath your feet and making way for many types of landscapes; sand, grass, leaves, ponds. Deer bounding across your path and tortoises smiling beneath their shells. Chirps of birds and crickets ringing like music to your ears along with the swoosh of the trees giving way to a gentle breeze. Time does not happen here. Earth rotates a little more slowly.

Thanks to a friends suggestion, I recently took my day off to explore Lake Louisa State Park towards Clermont in Central Florida. It costs $4 to enter, and boasts 7 miles of paved roads, 20+ miles of trails, primitive and tent/camper camping, lakes to swim in, wildlife, it's fantastic. Coming 2 days post half marathon I set out for a quick easy run but by the time I was done I was shocked that I had run 8 miles. I have never gotten lost in the absolute joy of running. Road running is hard to "get lost" in. You have mile markers in your mind of where you are, traffic to watch out for, other pedestrians and pollution. Yet on a trail all that encompasses your mind is the sounds of nature, sights, and your own thoughts. It is much more primal running on a trail like our ancestors did, whom did not stop to cross streets or run according to per mile pacing. They ran out of need, and out of desire.

To me, trail running is like a slice of birthday cake at a party. The feelings of the change of ground from grass to sand, the soft roll of the Earth, the trees whispering sweet nothings, deer perking up to say hello, and a game of hop scotch hopping over tree roots is nothing short of fantastic.

Since that first date with the forest here, I have returned twice for a 12 & 15 mile run I did mostly on the paved trails to more closely mimic the roads for my marathon. But I did sneak off into the trails for a few glorious miles.

Trails however require a different shoe for your best run. I ordered a pair of Brooks Cascadias which are more minimal that my overly cushioned Saucony Triumphs to allow my feet to better grip the trails, and I can't wait to strap those babies on for a test run!

A part of me I never before knew with running is out and so happy. Trails please my soul; being alone, in nature, doing my primal thing just soothes me to an extent I cannot describe. I know my soul is happy in a cooler more wilderness climate and I hope my future soon takes me to that happy little place.

Keep running friends, hit the trails!

You Know You're A Runner When...

I never expected to become a runner, maybe I could have seen myself as a bi-weekly jogger, but never as someone who stuck to a schedule and ran races. Pretty sure my family did not expect this either. There is a stigma involved with running, "Oh, those people." As in the people that do crazy things to their bodies, waking up at ungodly hours, and the constant chatter about their training. Now that I am part of the club, here is my list of when you know you're a runner:

You know you're a runner when:

• You have more running shoes than regular shoes.
• You start getting picky about casual shoes and actually start buying shoes for comfort.
• A pedicure is no longer about having pretty toe nails but to get off the callous.
• Your laundry consists of running clothes only.
• Everything you eat is carefully decided, whether for the nutrient content or how it's going to make you feel for the next run.
• Carbs are your best friend.
• You are eternally hungry.
• You spend more money on races than vacations. You also pick races on their location so you can make it a vacation.
• Going to bed early is a must.
• You wake up before the sun on your weekend to do your "long run."
• Laundry mainly consists of running clothes, and you never allow anyone else to do them for you (no dryer!)
• Wearing real people clothes happens quite infrequently.
• Your Garmin (or other watch) is your best friend.
• All you want to do is talk about running.
• You stretch wherever, and whenever you can. Your roller also travels with you.
• You have worn compression socks under pants in public.
• You cannot run a race until you poop. (TMI, but it's incredibly true.)
• Water is your bff.
• You get angry when you can't run, or when you haven't run in a few days.
• Running partially injured is always an option. Not running is worse.
• You can't function through a day without running.
• You are always planning and thinking about your next run.
• You keep a spare running outfit in your car (just in case.)
• You may be broke because races are just too fun.
• You just love running and can't get enough!!

A short list, but I hit all the statements that really pertain to me! 

Also, sorry friends. I am an obsessive runner, I love it. And I will probably try to convince you to start running!

Peace, and running :)

St. Augustine Half Marathon

Following my Marathon training plan, this past week called for a 13 mile run, and I decided I wanted to race it and found the St. Augustine Half Marathon to perfectly fit into my plan! 

My dad (aka biggest running supporter) drove up to Orlando and picked me up Saturday morning for the trip. We got to St. Augustine at lunch time and headed to our favorite little cafe for lunch. The Manatee, recommended for all! Healthy, delicious, and lots of vegan options. We got the hummus and tabbouleh appetizer, a veggie burger and vegan Reuben to split. Carb loading at its best, plus I'm always starving.

The Reuben above, veggie burger below! Dad got a side of quinoa veggie soup and I opted for fruit.

Afterwards, we checked into our hotel, and walked to the expo to pick up my packet for the race the next morning. We walked down the historic area to St. George street amongst the many little shops and got a pumpkin pie Popsicle from my favorite Popsicle place!

Then, we strolled to the fort and made our way back to the hotel where we tested a bit before heading to sushi to carb load for the morning. I got a cucumber roll and an avocado roll, very tasty. 

Before I knew it, I was waking up for race morning! I got dressed, ate my banana and cold brew coffee, and drove to the race. We over compensated how long and busy it would be and were there pretty early. It was a small race of only 1,200 runners which is my favorite kind of race. I ate my honey stinger waffle right before the start and we were off at 7am after a moment of silence for Paris. 

The run began at the Fort and traveled over the famous Bridge of Lions to Anastasia Island. I was feeling amazing, so thankful for my safety, my many blessings, my father who is so supportive in every single thing I do, my body for being strong and allowing me to run, and living in a country that I can freely run in! The race turned over a huge bridge, .25 up, and then an immediate turn around and back over the bridge. Not fun. Then the race continued through the National Park of beachfront Anastasia Island, breathtaking sand dunes and streets covered in mossy trees. My knee began to flare up and send shooting pain at mile 9 but I dug deep and pushed through set on setting a PR.

The last 4 miles flew by, I started out running way too fast almost a minute faster per mile than I wanted, and eventually slowed down towards the end. One more time over the Bridge of Lions, past the fort and finished with a PR of 2:06:27!!! A 7 minute PR for myself, which I am so proud of. After my horrible long run the week prior I really didn't know that was possible. But when you believe in yourself, anything can happen! And I am hungry for that Marathon in January.

A post run breakfast of tofu scramble at The Manatee Cafe, and we were headed home. Shout out to No Meat Athlete for the perfect new race shirt!! You can find it here: store.nomeatathlete.com

Peace and running friends :)

Let's Be Gentler

I could talk all day about how running makes me a better human, but in every way possible it truly makes me a better person. A more patient person, you can't fast forward a run. You have to take every step. Kinder, it makes me kinder to myself and to others, you can't think bad thoughts when you are doing something you love.

Above all, it makes me more gentle. And at this time, especially now, I think the world needs this. Now this may be very controversial to talk about so soon but I think it is a perspective others need to consider. The attacks on Paris and Beirut this past week were horrifying and unforgivable. I cannot even fathom the sorrow from those who lost loved ones, the Parisians, and the people of France. Our world has darkness in it, and darkness has left its mark and shown its face openly this week.

However, the way to improve peace in this dark world is to always be gentle. Be gentle with your word and actions to others, always. Speak kindly about all. This includes ALL countries of the Earth, and all its inhabitants. We are one people living on this rock floating through time together. We do not need to be separated by borders, cultures, races, nor religions. This week we are not praying for Paris, we are hoping for peace for mankind.

To all whom we meet, those traveling who may not speak our language; be patient. We all share the same bond of humanity. Language does not separate us. To those believing other religions; be understanding. Do not raise your beliefs above theirs and do not criticize theirs for what they think. Islam is not bad, the radical sectors of the religion like ISIS and the Taliban are. Be educated and know the difference. Be open, allow your heart to be open to those that need your heart. The world needs our heart, Syria, the entire Middle East, Paris, they need our heart and understanding. Bombs are not quieted by bombs.

We are not praying for Paris, we are praying for the world. But even more, we are working to improve the world. Let's take our activism another step; instead of sharing the same logo of peace or changing your profile picture to a French flag do something that makes a difference. Get off your computer and go into the world. Be accepting with everyone you meet. Be more patient when you are driving and lay off your horn. Do not hurry others at the checkout line. Say hello to someone with their head down. Strike up a conversation with the lonely person in a coffee shop. Call your mom. Quiet your negative thoughts. Imagine a world where you didn't have someone angrily honking behind you at a stoplight. Peace starts here. Peace starts small. Share kindness to everyone you meet and everyone you see. 

The Dalai Lama summed it up perfectly, read the interview here: www.dw.com/en/dalai-lama-on-paris-attacks-work-for-peace-and-dont-expect-help-from-god-and-governments/a-18852858

The Perception of Masculinity

Today, our world is over run with social media, advertisements, news ads, and most of them are depicting either a masculine or feminine role. From birth announcements being pink or blue as "female" and "male", children's color clothing, everything we see in everyday life has a male or female stigma attached to it.

I whole heartily believe that we have brainwashed our gender norms in society the entirely wrong way; men to be strong and women to be frail. Both genders should feel comfortable to be themselves, and to express their feelings openly. Men should not be taught to hide their emotions; our society teaches men to hide their sorrow and act out in rage. Men's boxing and AMA fighting has become uber popular, in my eyes I see this as a very caveman type sport where men fight each other for nothing other than sport even injuring each other and riling up rage out of the crowds. Video games are targeted at men and are full of murder, violence, theft; while women's are typically kinder like Barbie and baby dolls. A case can also be made for whom TV shows and movies are directed at; Superheros using their strength as power, while Princess movies for girls display kindness as power. In school boys are taught to be kind to women (mostly) and that they are frail, yet as themselves they must always be perfectly composed and unemotional. 

Men: be emotional! Be vulnerable. As humans we are highly emotional beings and as both men and women we feel many different emotions everyday. Women tend to succumb and express their feelings much more openly, as I believe men should too. Biologically we are wired in our DNA to feel many things, some more than others based on the amount of stress we felt as unborn babies from our mothers and then based on the stresses of our environment through adolescence and through adulthood.

It has even come across in the dietary and food world; an example being the "Hungry Man" meals that are directed to men, full of heavy meats and implying that men need to eat copious amounts of meats. Many advertisements for meat and beer products are directed to men, while women are seen eating small salads and the stars of diet food advertisements. This has caused society to think that men need to be "strong" and consume huge amounts of meat products, while women are portrayed as "weak" and eating very little. On the contrary, men are seen as weak for abstaining from animal products which is more than far from the truth.

Compassion is an important and attractive quality that men should express. Being vegan and caring about animals and our planet is not something to be ashamed about but something to be embraced. I personally find vegan men extremely attractive, I see them as people that can embrace and express their feelings very openly and to be more nurturing than those who consume animal products. Masculinity is about being strong, protective, and can be expressed even better as being protectors of all living things and the Earth we call home. It should not be expressed through mounted deer heads, killing black bears, literally "bringing home the bacon" but being caring and nurturing to these animals instead. Men believe they need to eat more protein than women in general and that this nutrient needs to be consumed in the form of animal products, which is incorrect and I will explain further in a later post on protein.

So hey men, it's okay to show your soft side, in fact flaunt it! If slaughter of animals upsets you embrace this. Go vegan, advocate for animal and environmental rights. Let us respect our fellow animals that Mother Earth has given us, and love us love them and live as one. So go forth and live a life of peace, emotion and compassion. 

Why I Am Taking on the Marathon

Everyone has a different reason for why they do things; run, bike, yoga, knit, fish, whatever the hell you do just for you. But, everyone has a vastly different inner reason for this as well. Sometimes it is not until well into your journey that you discover your purpose for what you do.

***Side note: Let's also set something straight, I don't like to use the concept of "journey", and am going to try to refrain myself from using that term. To me, journey means a path to a destination. Ultimately, we all only have one destination from life, and that is death. So rather than me constantly trying to find a destination in life, I will remain present and describe my process as just being.***

Struggles in life are something everyone of all races, cultures, and incomes faces, and I have faced my fare share of struggle. From early adolescence I struggled with body issues and eating disorders, wanting to shrink my strong and muscular thighs I thank figure skating for. I allowed the media to dictate how I thought I should look, and with my thighs as thick and strong as a tree I did not fit in their category of "beautiful and thin." Through over exercising and controlling what I put in my mouth I shrunk to a very dangerous weight, while still continuing to strive to improve my skating abilities which I finally learned could not happen after depleting my muscle. So through my desire to become a better skater, and to live my life in a healthier way for myself and my family I healed myself and gained weight and muscle to grow stronger than ever. Through conditioning and healthy eating I excelled more than ever at my sport. 

In my young adult years as stated in an earlier blog post, A Little About Me, I found running to both feel good physically and mentally. Now, as a college graduate and feeling lost as most 23 year olds do in what their "purpose" and career path is, I have decided to take on the marathon. To me, a marathon is a pretty huge feat to face physically. I have never run more than about 14 miles and want to prove to myself that I am both dedicated and strong enough to do it. 

Mentally, running a marathon makes you strong. I call it free therapy. Sometimes you can be on runs for 2-3 hours, with nothing but yourself and your thoughts, much more time than most people spend not distracted by technology, other people, work, etc. I thank running for making good decisions, when you can argue and debate with yourself about something for unobstructed hours at a time you tend to make the right decision. I find myself thinking more about my direction in life and making choices based on what my heart wants rather than what society wants. Relationship wise on runs I can recollect the good times and also the bad times which helps me to heal the wounds I carry in my heart from friendships not working out (I am an empathic person and tend to always remember the good times.)

The marathon is a goal I can work towards and singly rely on myself to accomplish. As a type A personality, I like to work alone and control what I am working towards. Whether or not I complete this feat is something only I can place reliance on myself for; and at this state of my life it is important for me to spend some time alone and with my thoughts. 

I hope you will follow me on my physical and mental journey through this process. Weekly, I will post my runs, distances, the woes and the triumphs I learn from my body and my mind. Be prepared for some deep and emotionally driven posts, as I tend to get deep into my core on my runs.

Some life updates:

Everyone go see this documentary! "He Named Me Malala." SO inspirational in every way of life. Shakes you up and makes you feel very thankful for our education in America and our rights as humans. Sometimes the things we fight for here seem miniscule in retrospect to what others want as basic rights.

Just got in my new Garmin Forerunner 220! Love it, a big step up from my old watch which will now allow me to clock intervals for speed training and tell me my pace while I am currently running.

Have a peaceful and meaningful day, friends!